


Enzo, Alone

by RobinTrigue



Series: The Verse Where Enzo's Super Into 1D [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Crack, Gen, The completely unawaited prequel, Unlikely Friendships, disclaimer: I still know nothing about any of this, misinformation regarding the band One Direction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-08 00:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7735843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinTrigue/pseuds/RobinTrigue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enzo felt lost, confused. Wasn’t there anyone around who could explain this to him? Wasn’t there anyone who could see how important it was to him, to the world? His desperation leads him to form an alliance with the most unlikely of people...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enzo, Alone

“Zo?” Cass knocked on the door to his friend’s apartment. No response. He opened the door and walked in, wandering through the living room. “Zo? You didn’t show up at the breakfast place, so I got your doughnuts to go; extra sugar on, just how you like them. You ain’t sick or something, are ya? Cos if you are, you really shouldn’t-” Cass opened the bedroom door to find Enzo with bloodshot eyes, nose pressed against his laptop screen.

“Cass?” he said, blinking and shielding his eyes from the light spilling through the doorway. “What time is it?”

“It’s ten thirty in the morning, Enzo! What the hell are ya doin sitting here in the dark? Did – did you stay up _all night_?”

“Had to,” slurred Enzo, rubbing at his face. “S’important.”

“Oh yeah?” Cass threw open the curtains; the Florida sun was already hot and bright. “Were you working on ways for us to defeat the Dudley Boys next week? Cos that’s what you were meant to meet with me and Mella to discuss today.”

“Aw, shit Cass,” Enzo said, looking genuinely guilty. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“Forgot? You _forgot_ we was debuting on the main roster? You forgot about Monday Night Raw, the show we’ve only wanted to be on since forever? Jesus, Zo, what could possibly be so important?”

“It’s Conch-o-bar!” he blurted.

Cass blinked. “Who’sa bar?”

“Conchobar,” Enzo repeated, grabbing a doughnut and shoving half of it in his mouth at once. “The baby, according to NiallsWaifu1987. But I dunno if we can really take the word of a Niall fan, cos of the jealousy, so I had to do a little digging and it turns out-”

“Whoa, whoa,” said Cass. “Back up a mo’. _Who’s_ having a baby?”

“Well that’s the question, isn’t it,” said Enzo darkly. “This could change the future of the One Direction fandom as we know it!”

Cass took the rest of the doughnuts away from his idiot partner.

* * *

 

“And he keeps going on about some boy band?” said Cass, bewildered, to their manager the next day in catering. “Wand Direction?”

“Don’t look at me,” said Carmella with a wave. “I haven’t paid attention to 1D since my ex left; I try to be supportive of my friends’ solo careers.”

“Hold up, hold up,” said Enzo, suddenly alert. He’d been playing with some of the Lego pieces that had spread from Finn’s general radius. “You dated Zayn?”

“Zayn dated _me_ ,” corrected Carmella. (Sami looked up from across the table with a startled expression.) “He was heartbroken when I told him I was too serious about wrestling for us to make it together.”

Enzo made a noise like a fallen baby bird. “But ya still got his cell number? Can you ask him for the lowdown on the fake baby?”

“Babe, I don’t have a clue about what’s going on in that fugazi band of yours, but didn’t you hear me? He was _heartbroken_. I ain’t about to intrude on his newfound domestic bliss for some nonsense rumour.”

“Rumour?” Enzo sputtered, throwing his hands in the air. Finn (who, like the rest of the roster, had learnt to tune out most of the trio’s lively discussions) reached out without looking to catch the hull of the pirate ship that Enzo had just tossed skyward. “I don’t _understand_ you two! First you’re all ‘Enzo, we gotta work hard,’ and ‘Enzo, your hair’s gonna be irreparably damaged if you bleach it again,’ but when I put my journalism degree towards something that actually matters, ya flake on me! Right when I need you the most!”

Cass and Carmella looked at each other. “Are we still talking about the boy band-?”

“Boy band!” Enzo’s hair flopped wildly. “I don’t care about no stinkin’ boy band! I follow the _news_ , _international news_ , and I’m gonna get to the bottom of this Conchobar thing! Oh no, don’t listen to me, don’t mind ol’ Enzo, the only one who is _paying attention to the things that really matter!_ ” He stormed off.

“Wait, Zo!” called Cass. “We still haven’t planned for Raw!”

“Did Harry Potter _plan_ to spring Sirius Black from the Flitwick’s office in the third book, right after uncovering the biggest conspiracy in the wizarding world?” yelled Enzo over his shoulder. “No! I’m a goddamn wizard on the mic, how you doin, I’m gonna kill it out there even if I gotta do all the _real_ work myself!”

Cass turned to Carmella, completely lost. “He _is_ a wizard on the mic,” she shrugged.

* * *

 

Raw went _great,_ just like Enzo knew it would, how you doin. The crowd was crazy for them, some of his and Cass’s best work if he did say so himself, even if the Dudley Boys were too goddamn s-a-w-f-t to fight. Zo and Cass absolutely killed it, what a rush to get a cheer that loud from a crowd that large. The big guy’s smile was a sight to behold when they got backstage, like all the hard work of getting this far had been worth it. Enzo left him alone to call his mom, hiked up his leggings, and set off down the hallway on his own mission.

Time for the _real_ work to begin.

It took him several tries to find his way in the halls of the huge Dallas arena but eventually he did, winding up at an out-of-place looking carved oak door that smelled or kerosene and body odour. Steeling himself – after all, courage is in the facing of fears, not in the absence of them – he raised a fist and banged loudly. After a moment, the door opened, and the giant, hairy face of Bray Wyatt stared down at him.

“Hello, Mr Wyatt, your shepardliness,” said Enzo. “I’m Enzo Amore, certified G, how you doin. You’ve probably heard of me.” He popped his collar for full effect.

Bray Wyatt loomed and said nothing.

“Aright, aright, man of few words, I respect that,” said Enzo. “I can be silent myself when it’s necessary, spook out the competition before giving ‘em the old one two, it’s a sound strategy for a G.” When Bray continued to not respond, Enzo did a little Ali shuffle. Time to get down to business.

“Listen, Bray, can I call you Bray? You’ve got all those powers, right? Seeing into souls, truth-telling, all that?”

Bray gave a sinister-looking smile. Enzo shrugged, deciding to take that as a yes. The shadows of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan shifted on the sliver of wall visible through the crack in the door.

“S’just, if you’re not overexaggerating your mysticfulness, I got a little bargain you might be interested in. Give that magic lamp of yours a rub, get me the answers I’m looking for, and I’ll make it worth your while. Straight up deal, from one pro to another, how you doin.”

“The followers of Sister Abigail’s teachings have no need for money,” proclaimed Bray.

“I know, I know, real talk now, didja honestly think I’d come here without a serious offer to make?” Enzo rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone; everyone around here seemed to think he was some kinda _amateur_ , honestly. “See these pics? Feel free to scroll through the whole album. Nice sneaks, all limited edition, worth their weight in _gold_. Don’t matter what size you are cos I got ‘em all, just tell me what you’re lookin’ for.”

Whatever Bray Wyatt had expected, it wasn’t that. He seemed genuinely confused by the Technicolor array of sneakers Enzo was presenting him. “What was it you wanted again?” he asked.

Enzo lowered his voice, sounding like he was trying to cut a deal with a 30s mobster. “What’s the lowdown on Conchobar. I gotta know.”

The cultist’s brow furrowed.

“I thought it was pronounced Connor?”

“What?!”

“The baby. It’s pronounced Connor, Louis chose the spelling because it’s like an old Irish king.”

Enzo’s shriek of “FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO WATCHES THE NEWS!” resounded through the entire stadium.

* * *

 

Cass emerged from the dressing room to find Enzo surrounded by the entire Wyatt family, along with Cesaro and Daniel Bryan, all hotly discussing something.

“I’m telling you, the baby must have a stunt double, there’s no way it’s real.”

“Yeah, especially with this bonafide proof that Louis and Harry are dating!” yelled Enzo, tapping at a diagram that someone had drawn on the floor with chalk.

“And another thing, Liam isn’t even that cute!” Cesaro was yelling to Braun Strowman, who nodded fervently.

Cass groaned. He wasn’t certain what had happened in the half hour he’d left Enzo alone, or why his best friend was hugging Bray Wyatt with tears in his eyes, but he firmly swore to never, ever get to the bottom of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Not featured: Enzo’s brief tag team partnership with CJ Parker, where he walked to the ring with handmade IS THE BABY REAL #ILLUMINATI #THETRUTHMATTERS signs.


End file.
